On the “Quarter-Life Crisis”
I was recently poking around on the r/Adulting subreddit and I found someone asking about "quarter-life crisis." The original poster's first question, "is that a real thing?", is followed by requests for advice from people who've been through it.
Here are some of my favorite offerings from the r/Adulting community:
(Seriously^, if you don't know about it, it's definitely worth looking up Saturn Return.)
What is a Quarter-Life Crisis?
The concept of “quarter-life crisis” was around long before the COVID-19 pandemic began. It refers to an experience (usually beginning in one’s mid to late 20s) that often involves feeling stuck or questioning choices, relationships, or purpose. Some people leave partners, jobs, or social groups and face these obstacles while enduring loneliness and isolation. For many in their 20s today, the pandemic made these challenges even harder to navigate, disrupting college years and/or our transition into the workforce. Self-doubt, indecision, relationship stress, job dissatisfaction, FOMO—stop me if any of this sounds familiar.
Honestly, I don’t care much for the idea of “quarter-life crisis.”
I’ve supported fifteen clients in their 20s in my coaching practice (and I’m 28 years old myself) and let me tell you these things are NOR-MAL. As new pressures, responsibilities, and uncertainties enter our lives, our emotional response to the resultant stress is high. Negative thoughts and feelings abound. Our minds excavate the past and zoom into the future. We grapple with disappointment and frustration; we scavenge for answers, purpose, and meaning.
Turning a “Crisis” into Personal Growth
The truth about this “crisis” is that it provides fertile soil for growth.
We can explore, reflect, and imagine. We can experiment with new ways of caring for ourselves and create new opportunities to receive support. We can practice shifting our attention away from our emotions toward our top priorities. This is how we build resilience. This is how we grow.
Coaching makes this far easier. My quarter-life “crisis” led me to coaching which has transformed my experience of life. I’ve trained my brain to focus less on my ever-present worries/fears and more on what’s most important to me, and to identify my next step towards it. I’m much better at holding myself accountable to doing what I said I’d do. I’m clear on my core values and I know how to use them to guide my actions. I consistently show up in ways that I feel proud of, and ways that positively affect those around me.
Your "quarter-life crisis" is probably not the quarter mark of your life and it doesn't have to be a crisis.
It is a brilliant time to check in with your vision for your life and take action to achieve it. Or, you could try buying a Chevy 2500 Duramax.