The A-word (Accountability)
How We Understand Accountability
When my clients give me feedback on what they’ve gotten out of coaching, over and over again they use the a-word: accountability.
I hear people throw this word around a lot these days so let me clarify my understanding of it, which I learned from Mariame Kaba. She has written and spoken about it in many places; the first I encountered was during a panel at the Making and Unmaking Incarceration Conference in 2019.
MK approaches accountability as a resource within each of us that tells us whether we’ve done right or wrong. People can (read: have to) choose to hold themselves accountable based on their sense of what they have done—or not done.
A Practice for Self-Reflection and Growth
What I love about this perspective is that it’s thus impossible to force other people to take accountability for their actions. We can, however, hold space for someone to decide whether to take accountability or not, and help them see what that accountability would look like. Mariame usually refers to the context of harm and its reparation (as opposed to its punishment), but this approach to accountability lends itself beautifully to what we do in coaching.
I don’t (read: can’t) hold my clients accountable to take the actions that will move them towards their goals. What I do well is create a uniquely supportive and empowering space within which my clients can practice holding themselves accountable. And—if you can believe it—it’s a practice that gets easier with repetition.
A crucial skill here is answering this question truthfully: “Did I do what I said I would do?”
And when the answer is “no” (because sometimes it will be!), I keep clients from getting lost in stories about why they didn’t, or what it means about them that they didn’t.
UPDATE
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UPDATE 〰️
*As of December 2024 I am no longer offering Accountability Office Hours.
If you are looking for co-working support I highly recommend focused space.
- Use my discount code JPARDEE for 25% off your membership.
Short of being coached, having an accountability buddy is an effective way of building this skill. As I have learned (and many times re-learned), working in isolation can make it harder to stay clear and focused. Which is why I’m launching Accountability Office Hours:
This is a free, remote, co-working space (my Zoom room) for you to focus your attention and do your work.
How it works:
Sign up to join the office hours roster and I'll send you a calendar invitation with meeting details.
Join my Zoom room (optional: share your goal for what you'll accomplish by the end of the session).
Do your work! Together we create an environment of focused energy.
Before logging off, celebrate what you've acheived.
Who it's for:
You, your friends, anybody! As long as you don't disrupt the room's ability to focus, you can bring any type of work:
Work for your job
Writing your manuscript/dissertation/screenplay
Finishing your job/grad school apps
Journaling :)
Responding to emails
Planning your vacation
Making a vision board
Reading your book
When I was in college I used to love going to the library with my most disciplined friends because the peer pressure of their productivity made it so much easier for me to stay focused (shout out to y'all who are reading this—you know who you are!). My hope in offering these office hours is that I can be that friend for others.
What’s that thing that keeps getting pushed from one edition of your to-do list to the next?
What’s something you’ve wanted to do all year long that you just haven’t made time for?
How about that one friend who struggles with their follow-through?
Bring them all to Accountability Office Hours!