In Pursuit of Balance
Achieving a lasting state of balance in our lives is impossible.
What can we gain by pursuing it anyway?
Restoring Balance: Navigating Life’s Unpredictability
Balance is about process, not product. Due to the unpredictability and constant change of the world around us (you'll hear me call this "physical reality"), we can be certain that things beyond our control will disrupt our balance. In fact, this chaotic pattern is one of the only certainties we can count on.
The process focuses on restoring balance, which involves two key skills:
assessing where you're currently off balance (and to what degree)
responding with action that moves you towards balance.
For the first skill, the assessment, I like to imagine a contraption that I call an Ontological X-Ray Machine (patent pending). This is a one-of-a-kind device that scans every aspect of your being and produces a snapshot of how each arena of your life (body, mind, work, family, etc.) is sitting with you in the moment.
Right now, take 3 breaths.
Then look for yourself:
What would your ontological X-ray show?
Where are you experiencing imbalance?
The Next Step: Trusting the Process Toward Balance
Practicing this type of observation makes the second skill, the action-taking, easier. We can be clear and confident that our energy is being focused in a place where it will have impact. At any moment, the next move—the one right in front of us—is always the one we are best positioned to see. Our brains desperately want to look past it, to the future ones and question/doubt them. But the truth is that after you've taken the step that's right in front of you, you'll see more clearly what follows. Focus on the next step toward balance and trust that your future self will be even better positioned to do the same.
There is an interconnectedness to the arenas of our lives that we honor by looking through the lens of balance. Can you think of a time when a change in your health has affected your relationships? Has your performance in your job ever been impacted by stress from your personal life? When you're taking really good care of yourself, what does that make possible for you? Or those around you? "Work/Life Balance" is a common reference but its dichotomy fails to account for the truth that our work is one part of our life; a well-balanced life attends to work in relation to other non-work priorities.
Embracing Impermanence: The Ongoing Pursuit of Balance
As a result of practicing these balancing skills, we might experience some luminous moments where we can really feel how well-balanced our life is. We do our best from this position; we can reach further, we can weather heavier storms, we can give and receive support with more ease. We can be more present to the sources of joy that surround us.
And still, we can be certain, this state will not last.
"What will happen once I get there?" is one less thing for us to worry about! Because we already know. Not only will physical reality (read: other people/places/things) throw some unexpected bullshit our way, but our brain might also jump in on the action. Our brains are always active—trying to protect us from perceived danger—but all too often this protective streak takes us further away from things that can nourish us, heal us, or bring us some peace.
Whether disruption comes from our own brain or from the world around us, we know that we will never achieve a permanent state of balance. We can choose to accept this truth, to be non-attached to the "product" of restoring balance, and still know that in pursuing it we become more whole. More clear, more generous, more present.
More grounded—and less likely to be thrown off balance by every little unanticipated shift that affects us.
What practices work well for you to restore balance in your life?
What have you been able to experience or achieve during well-balanced times?
I'd love to hear from you!