My Origin Story
The Origin Story of My Origin Story
This year I’ve been focusing on (and experimenting with) how to grow my business. Unfortunately for me, that involves something I don’t love: marketing. Fortunately for me, people like Tad Hargrave at Marketing for Hippies have created a ton of resources, many of which are free, to support conscious business owners with what he calls “ethical marketing for uncertain times.”
This is an unpaid plug—I’ve never interacted with Tad beyond watching his videos—but it’s also a preface to me sharing something that I wrote following his guidance: my origin story.
Without fully getting into the marketing strategy of it, the origin story prompt pursues the idea that I may have become the practitioner (coach) that I needed when I was younger. Spoiler alert: I did—and articulating my personal and professional path to the present is a kind of market research: I was the type of person who is now one of my ideal clients.
It felt uncomfortable to write my origin story and it feels scary to share it. I made some (re)discoveries about myself in the process. I’m proud of having written it and I’m proud of the story itself. In the spirit of leaning into the scary things, here it is. If you read it, thank you; I’d sincerely love to hear your thoughts.
Performance, Presence, and Purpose: Finding My Role(s)
One of the first joys I discovered growing up was performance. From my early adolescence, I had a lot of support (shout out Mom & Dad) to build my skills in singing, dancing, and acting. I wasn't fully conscious of it then but what I loved most about performance was the way it demanded being fully present and intimately attuned to my castmates to achieve our shared purpose.
I focused most of my free time and energy on performing arts until my sophomore year of college when I took "Intro to Sociology: A Social Justice Approach" with my eventual advisor, Professor Eileen Leonard. Due to the bubble in which I grew up with my numerous, compounding sources of privilege, this was the first time I learned and thought deeply about movements for freedom and justice. I felt some guilt and shame at how long it had taken for me to consider such issues, and the fact that it ultimately happened in an academic context.
Nevertheless, I was, for the first time, motivated to find my place in something larger than the cast of a musical. I stopped going to rehearsal so that I could start going to student-organizing meetings, events, and protests.
Riding the Career Carousel - 10 Jobs Before 30
The average twenty-something has a handful of jobs before turning thirty. I had ten.
After graduating, my first job was at a nonprofit with a social change-oriented mission statement that I believed in. I showed up to our hip co-working space as a bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, 22-year-old ready to Make A Difference! To my great shock, my team was filled with 27 to 35-year-olds who were burning (or already burnt) out from their nonprofit careers. I was disappointed by their cynicism, but I soon understood the conditions that led them to develop perspectives of self-preservation. Some were issues with the leadership of our organization; many were endemic to the nonprofit industry.
Within two years that organization was no more and I had to figure out what to do next. I returned to my former summer job waiting tables while I wrote what felt like hundreds of cover letters for positions at social-change-oriented nonprofits. There were some aspects of working as a server that I fell in love with: I was making more money than I had in my previous job; when I clocked out at the end of the night I wouldn't think about work until my next shift started; I felt like I was a useful part of a well-functioning team that needed me. While at first they felt freeing, eventually these comforts kept me from thinking about—let alone working towards—what I really wanted from my career. But I did make some meaningful (re)discoveries of things that I love: collaboration, being in service to people, and building relationships.
Self (Re)Discovery—Cross-Country Moves & Relationship Transitions
I had also moved to a new city where I didn't know anyone. I wanted to meet people, make friends, and get involved with community organizations but it was hard to know where to start on my own. I was in a long-distance partnership for three years until 2020 when I moved across the country to close that distance. I kept churning out cover letters, delivered meals for DoorDash, and worked as an 8th-grade academic support coach.
Six months after I relocated, my partner and I decided to split up. I had no real leads on jobs and felt deeply frustrated by the nonprofit track I had been pursuing. We had some frank and vulnerable conversations about what I loved doing, what I didn't, and how I wanted to contribute to the world. I took myself on a few cross-country road trips to heal my heartbreak, visit my friends, and reconnect with myself.
The Call of Coaching
I made peace with the idea that I won't find a job that I love—most people don't. I decided I'd focus on creating a life that I love and find a job that allows me to live that.
As soon as I accepted this truth, I found coaching. Which I love. And I found it in an unexpected place: a suggestion from a friend of my brother's whose brain I was picking about jobs in climate justice. When he first planted the seed, "Have you ever thought about coaching?" my initial reaction ("That's crazy lol... what even is that?") sat on top of recognition that my personality, skills, and passions fit really well with this work. I love connecting with people. I'm gifted at building relationships. I'm growth-minded and I love envisioning possibilities. In hindsight, I also see that my love of learning suited me well for coaching. Every session unearths some wisdom that my clients hold and I get to be right alongside them for that discovery.
Once I was willing to hear the call of coaching, I couldn't ignore it.
Transformation—Building a Life I Love
I then had to balance a day job (getting one, and keeping it) with my budding career training and business-building. This was (and is) really difficult! But it was the first time that I felt truly excited and inspired by my vision for what I was building towards. My coach training taught me that when we're doing new things our brain responds much better to carrots than sticks, and I was experiencing that first hand. I had finally found a sustainable source of internal motivation to keep myself in pursuit of my goal. And—crucially—I had the guidance of a brilliant mentor coach (shout out Jess!) who supported me to see who I am, what I value, and how to realize my vision for my practice.
My perspective shifted to see useful takeaways and possibilities where in the past I focused on mistakes, worries, and potential failures. Through coaching, I feel transformed—not into a new person, but I feel I've become more fully myself. I believe people are innately courageous and generous. Each of us has unique wisdom and contributions to make—all we have to do is listen deeply enough to uncover them, and then get out of our own way. Getting to support others with these breakthroughs and witnessing them take accountability for their own positive transformation is a tremendous joy and a privilege I do not take for granted.